Wednesday, April 29, 2009

On the Rise

I don't have long, but I know as well as you do that posting a video after a terribly depressing blog does little to quell the downright sad vibe that been coming out of ole' Dooby and the Bean.

Things are looking up. Yesterday I saw the naturopath and psychiatrist. These were two bold steps forward, and by facing this depression instead of letting it defeat me - even when every bone in my body was saying "Just stay down" - I feel better. Way better.

I took a single dose of Sepia 30C - and talked honestly with some professionals. The naturopath spent two hours with me. Every time I would expel my frustration or self loathing over something to the point where I had nothing left to complain about she would look at me and say, "What else?" She asked that so many times over the course of two hours that I felt completely and utterly expressed when our time was through.

I had my mom watch Coco for me and just brought Merrick. What trouble could the baby cause as long as I fed and nursed and changed him right? Seriously, can you believe I still make these mistakes?

Merrick began cutting his first tooth during this meeting. You're joking, Lawton. Surely you exaggerate. Not 45 minutes into the meeting he has woken up, nursed from both breasts, shit his pants so ferociously that it blew through his pants onto my pants, and screamed for 15 minutes until he passed out with his head on my shoulder. The good thing was that I felt his behavior only helped my case as I was seeing this woman for a remedy for being completely exhausted and overworked. This doctor keeps her office very warm, which is like torture for me. The only thing worse for me that a hot day is being stuck in a small hot room. It just makes me want to barf out everything that is bothering me as quickly as possible so I can get my sweaty little palms on my remedy and get the hell out of there. Maybe that's her goal. It worked for me.

From what I understand about homeopathic remedies, if they are going to work for you they work immediately. Sometimes they can make your original symptoms worse before they get better, but this is a quick cycle. A friend of mine jokes that every time she sees her naturopath and gets a remedy she calls her doc the next day and says, "Help, I feel like shit!" and the doc replies, "Good, that means we got the right one!" Within a day or two the remedy does what it is supposed to and she ends up feeling great.

I have yet to feel a down swing, possibly why my doctor only gave me one dose, but I am feeling better today. I know that all of the talking yesterday and the general pride in having faced this depression are making me feel better too, but I just wanted to get it out there - I am feeling better.

I do stand by seeing your own naturopath or doing your own research. I would hate for someone to have ended up on my site looking for help or support and have my remedy fail them. Do not just try what I have stated worked for me. I am only writing about the remedy to disclose what worked for me. Each person is different. In the same way that my blush makes me look like I just woke up, refreshed after a night of mind blowing orgasms but if you try it on with your complexion it might make you look like a whore. Or is not how I just described the way it looks on me? Whatever, you get the point.

A Picture,
in case you wondered
what a 17lb. shit machine looks like.


Anonymous said...

Yay. I am always thinking about you and I always check every day to see if you have written. I'm glad to hear that things are on the upswing. Keep them there. You can do it:)

Knarf Talaf said...

That sounds about right. My experience usually involves some eye of newt. Or the *big* leaches. They say it works ...

Those aforementioned writings sound like the inner monologue of an Aquarian. Please accept my astrological condolences. Seriously, I'm glad you're feeling better, though.

Keep writing & I just might visit ya next month. Really, I'm coming down there ...

Maggie May said...

Try triptophan. I may have spelt it wrong. I think you are marvelous.

The Panic Room said...

how did you manage to make me laugh so hard writing an update about depression. You got me with that bit about blush. So funny. And gross. babies can explode shit thru pants?

Lawton said...

MM - triptophan, isn't that what's in turkey that makes you tired? I will look it up.

Franko - *big* leaches - I read you loud and clear buddy. Little creepy you're still calling them that though. Come visit - let's make fun of each other in person. Perhaps you'll bring Val?

Ryan - I don't know what your baby will be like but this kid has superbaby shits that could shit through walls.

Knarf Talaf said...

Look for a lost squatter around the end of May. Not only could we make fun of each other in person, but spit in each others' food while the other isn't looking. It'll be just like when we lived together. (Val is less fortunate enough to be employed in these trying vacation times.)

Lawton said...

Wait... you used to spit in my food? I mean, Cohen is forever half chewing something before deciding to reject it and set it on my plate and Merrick missed barfing in my mouth by 2 inches today, but dirty vegetarian. The worst I ever did was slip you a mickey. Spit free I might add. I hope you see this makes me the superior person.

Shelly said...

I feel for you with the hot room and inconsolable baby. It's always at the most inopportune moment isn't? My little one decided to blow out her diaper on her first plane ride as we landed. Uggh, life happens and sometimes it smells.