Thursday, April 16, 2009

Lucky Dog

In marriage, it is imperative that each person find a way to relieve stress. Dan plays his XBox when he gets the chance, or works on one of the cars. I watch late night television and try to sell the puppy once a month.

Labrador Mastiff Boxer Mix

Dexter is 15 months old. He is a great pup - great with my two kids, other dogs. House broken and crate trained. We have had him for about 8 months. We also have a dominant male bulldog. Recently the male bulldog has gotten aggressive towards the pup and we need to rehome the pup. It breaks my heart to let him go, so only the most loving home will be considered. He is a people pleaser and you will not find a better behaved dog. Hopefully someone with kids. Email with any questions.

He is a big dog - still a lanky puppy but filling out more everyday. He stands about 28 in. high and weighs about 85lbs. so far. Will fill out more. Probably get to be over 100 lbs. so you must have a yard. No apartments. He will need lots of exercise. Likes frisbee and is working on fetch.

Also answers to Dexyloo. Loves scrambled eggs and peanut butter. Does well with other dogs. Defends himself with bulldog. Actually he has really put a beating on the bulldog. Ripped up both of his ears. Left a huge knot on the top of his head. Jumps. A lot. Likes babies.

He loves going for walks so you will need to walk him daily. Likes to sleep with his face on your chest when allowed in the house. Will eat furniture, clothing, power wire, cable wire and tires (bike and motorcycle - has yet to develop a taste for tricycle tires).

I really love him and want a good home for him. I just don't have the time to give him the attention he needs. My daughter is just going to be devastated without him. She sits outside of his kennel and feeds him though the grated door. He is very gentle with the baby.

I don't know. Maybe I should keep him. He already loves us. He may not even like you. Might eat your baby. I don't know. He's beaten the shit out of our bulldog, God knows what he could do to your baby. I mean, we live in walking distance to the dog park - where do you live?

This dog is ugly. I know it and you know it. Can you see past his looks? Really? Are you going to be wiling to trim the facial dingle berries he gets in his dragon beard? Even when you can't tell if its mud or shit on him? Even after I tell you there have been times it hasn't been mud? Yeah. He's a turd eater. We have had to buy a special outdoor trash can to keep shitty diapers in because Dexter will tear them open and eat the shit out of them like a fat kid tearing into an individually wrapped Tootsie Roll.

He's a genius. And he's mine. He learns tricks super fast. Chases birds. Barks at passing trucks. Responds well to neglect. Is resilient. Forgiving. Only a year old, he probably won't remember this time where I have to keep him in the kitchen or backyard all the time because of the new baby. And the toddler. And the bulldog. And my general inability to pick up clothes and toys from the floor. Seriously, get your own dog. Don't you have better things to do than to harass a new mother about giving away her perfectly good dog?
  • Location: Phoenix
Dan does not approve of this outlet. He periodically scans the pet section of craigslist. I used to think he just liked to look at the pups an imagine the day we live on a ranch and I allow him to have 27 dogs with which he can roller blade not unlike Cesar Milan. Now I see that he wants to ensure that I am not going to get rid of his dog in some hormonal outburst.

Would I throw a dog up on craigslist because of my hormones? Yes. If you think I suck for that I can direct you to at many places in this blog where I have done worse. When Dan busted me for posting the ad this week and argued his love for the dog was reason enough to keep it I explained why I posted the ad.

I am maxed out in my marriage. Maxed out with my children. At my limit with my school work. Exhausted from lack of sleep. And I am riddled with guilt about the fucking dogs. Someone has to go. Something has to give. I asked Dan to look at my list of complaints and tell me what he would cut. Nothing gives.

There is no resolution here. I took a few phone calls from people interested in the dog and no one was good enough. I simply could not imagine my future without this stupid dog in it. So here I am. Stressed. Exhausted. Bitchy. Covered in dog hair. And loved. I bust my ass for these kids, these dogs, this man in my life and what do they give me but a messy house and a love that often feels like a firework going off in my chest. I can make that work for now. I can make this work.

Lucky dog.


The Kandles said...

Lucky dog indeed. You've got a big heart L, I'm so incredibly less patient.

KateMiller said...

Way to tell it sister! Honestly, thank you. You make me feel like the weight I often carry around my house/family/husband is nothing in comparison. Your honest venting is a pleasure to read and never forget..."What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." Best of luck :)

Mme Paulita said...

but look at that face?

what a fucker having to be all cute and shit

Mrs. G said...

Man if you didn't sum up how i'm feeling these days in that last paragraph.
Maybe you just need to rent him out. And maintain exclusive rights to have him and cuddle him whenever you want.
Can you put a pup up on the rental section of craigslist?

With that: I leave you one of my very favorite posts from craigslist ever stumbled upon. Coincidentally, it's about a dog.


Lawton said...

Mrs. G - that craigslist post was HILARIOUS!

Elly said...

Hahaha, brilliant! Well, not brilliant that you advertised your dog, brilliant that really you love enough to want to keep him. :)

Stephanie Meade Gresham said...

Lawton- I have to tell you that your post about the "poop under the balls" really started worrying me about the new stuff I'm facing when my first son comes in June. Seriously. It had me cracking up until I realized that I'll soon find myself in the same boat.
Hope you don't mind if I throw up a link on my blog to yours. I'm truly enjoying it.
Let me know.