Thursday, February 26, 2009

Three Little Pigs - 2009

Lately Cohen has been so into stories from our childhoods that I was caught of guard tonight when she asked for the "Three Little Pigs". I began telling her this story when she was 1 year old, because I believe in teaching children fiscal responsibility, and also I have always loved a story where someone dies at the end.

Once upon a time there were 3 little pigs who lived at home with their mom and their dad and their Aunt Jeanette. One day the mom and dad took the 3 little pigs aside for a talk.

Look little pigs, you've got to get out of our house and get lives of your own. You are in your 30's and it is time to take your savings get out on your own. You can't live with your parents forever, YOU KNOW.

The first little pig took the bulk of his savings and bought a sports car. With the little bit he had left he filled the tank with premium fuel, and with the tiny bit he had left after that he bought hay and built himself a house made from straw.

The second little pig was only a tad more conservative. He bought himself an extravagant entertainment center complete with HD TV and surround sound. With the money he had left over he bought random pieces of scrap wood and tree branches and built himself a house of sticks.

The third little pig was smart. He took all of his money and bought brick and stone with which to build his home. And it was gorgeous.

One day, when the first little pig was out driving his sports car, it ran out of gas. On his walk, with his gas can in tow, who did he see but the big bad wolf.

The little pig gasped and ran as fast as he could all the way home, but the big bad wolf was fast behind him.

The little pig got through the front door just in time to lock it and the big bad wolf pounded and yelled... "Little pig little pig, let me in, or I will huff and I will puff and I will blow your house in!"

The little pig (raised right despite his frivolous purchases) replied, "Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!"

So the wolf huffed... and puffed... and he blew the house in.

The little pig ran as fast as he could to his brothers house made of sticks. Once inside he hid away but there was the wolf pounding at the door.

"Little pigs little pigs, let me in, or I will huff and I will puff and I will blow your house in!"

The little pigs replied, "Not by the hair of our chinny chin chins!"

So the wolf huffed... and puffed... and he blew the house in.

The pigs ran. Fast. All the way to the good neighborhood where pigs who save their money for their homes can afford to build. They reached their brother's home, ran inside and locked the door behind them. By now they were terrified. The two brothers stood trembling at the door as the wolf approached, hollering...

"Little pigs little pigs, let me in, or I will huff and I will puff and I will blow your house in!"

But the third little pig sat relaxed in his chair. He read the paper.

He replied to the wolf, "Not by the hair of our chinny chin chins!"

So the big bad wolf huffed... and he puffed... and he blew...

But the house did not move.

This made the wolf very angry. He began again.

He HUFFED... and he PUFFED.. and he BLEW!!!

Still the house did not move.

By now all of the little pigs had relaxed. The third little pig went to kitchen to get crackers and juice for his brothers.

The big bad wolf had all but walked away when as he turned something caught his eye. There, on the roof of the house, was a chimney. The big bad wolf had an idea.

Surely no pig would expect him to slither down the chimney, at which point he could jump out into the room and eat all those little pigs. But just as the wolf scaled the side of the house one of the piggies caught sight of the wolf's tail as it swished past the window.

"Quick," called the pig to his brothers, "Light the fire and throw a pot on the flame!"

The little pigs stood, waiting at the fire. When the big bad wolf slid down the chimney he landed right int the pot and the pigs slammed down the lid.

That night three little pigs ate that big bad wolf for dinner and as they ate they sang this song...

"Who's afraid of the big bad wolf, the big bad wolf, the big bad wolf... we're not afraid of the big bad wolf anymore."

4 comments:

The Panic Room said...

So... did he go back and get his sports car? I don't get it.

Tell me you do voices with this!

The Panic Room said...

I noticed that you're following your own blog. Nice. Wouldn't want you to miss a post that you posted right?

Lawton said...

#1 Of course there are voices.

#2 I tried to see if it was easier to follow after the changes you said there were and now I can't figure out how to manage followers and I can't get myself off of there.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

In the sequel, the first two piggies have become sibling sponges, sitting around in their boxers all day and eating all the smart pig's chips and cereal, huh? I think I read that story somewhere...