In my family the holidays are much like a needed trip to the dentist. You look forward to going, eager for the end result, but when you arrive and the drilling starts you begin to wonder why you ever came at all. In the end you are better for having gone, but sore none the less.
Dan's mother was out visiting my brother in law this Thanksgiving, but she agreed to let me use her house to host Thanksgiving. By "agreed" I mean that she asked to host Christmas this year (a tradition we have always done at my house) and I stipulated that if I could use her house for Thanksgiving she could have Christmas dinner. After watching my guests get to just walk out the door this Thanksgiving I cannot remember why I ever compete to host any of these events. While it may sound like I won the battle in getting to use her house, she won the war in getting me to pick up her sister and keep her with us for the holiday.
The morning after Thanksgiving my mother and I were cleaning and packing up/dividing the leftovers for guests while Dan's Aunt watched without lifting a finger. Instead of participating in any of the work she shared a story.
She told me how she had recently had a phone conversation with her daughter (who lives back east) where Dan's Aunt explained to her that it is very difficult for her to date because all of the men out here are Mexican. She was shocked that her daughter found this comment to be racist.
I told her that maybe her daughter didn't understand that she meant that many Mexican men just come from a male dominated culture and you did not want to be with a dominant man?? A stretch, I know. She quickly corrected me.
A: No, it's because they do drugs.
L: Now that is racist, not all Mexicans do drugs.
A: And they steal, they do drugs and they steal.
L: OK, that is totally racist. If you are aware of a group of Mexican men that do drugs and steal it is more likely that they do these things because they are from an impoverished area or a position of disadvantage rather than doing such things due to their race.
A: Well, that may be, but one thing I know for sure about Mexican men... they tend to kill their women and bury their bodies in the desert.
A: It's true. I read it on the news.
L: Not all Mexican men kill their women and bury them in the dessert!
A: I'm just saying if I ever date a Mexican man the first phone call I am going to make is to my family to tell them good-bye, and to let them know to look for me in the dessert if I don't call again.