Wednesday, October 01, 2008

This History of Dooby and Bean... To Date

I live in a house that I rent with my husband Dan, near the university. We have a 2.5 year old daughter, Cohen, a baby boy that will be joining the face of our earth in January and two huge dogs named Alby Doo and Dexter.

When I first started this blog Dan and I rented a house near the university. I was working as a paralegal and my life revolved solely around our new pregnancy and the dog. I began “Dooby and the Bean” as a way of documenting my miserable first pregnancy, wrought with awful symptoms. When Cohen was born instead of complaining about symptoms the blog became a way of expressing the wonders of motherhood, the isolation I sometimes felt, and a sounding board for normalcy. Alby Doo “Dooby” and Coco “the Bean” consumed me, pushing and pulling me in and out of my postpartum depression. This blog became an act of survival, and proved to be both cathartic and productive.

Then things changed. Dan and I fell pray to a type of peer pressure unmatched since peg rolling your pants ravaged my middle school circa 1989. All of sudden we felt that the college town in which we lived wasn’t safe enough to raise a child. The car we had been driving was breaking down too often and would surely explode in the near future, no doubt with our kid inside of it. Shouldn’t we own a house? Wouldn’t that be the next responsible step in becoming adults.

We bought a house we never should have been approved to buy in the middle of nowhere. We signed the papers on one of those “balloon mortgages” confident that we could sell before the interest kicked in. Dan’s bike ride to work transformed into an hour and a half car ride each way. I was completely alone in a new town with a 6 month old. We bought a new car because our two junkers couldn’t survive the commute into town. We got credit card offers in the mail. We accepted. I spent my time coping with a decision I felt must be the right one. I stopped writing. Dan was miserable. 3 hours in the car everyday left him no time with Cohen when he got home at night. Then the housing market crash placed a cherry on top of our sad little Sundae.

I went back to work making great money as a paralegal. Dan became a police officer. Doing these things gave us the confidence we needed to remember who we really were. We rented out the house in the middle of nowhere, left our careers for new ones, and moved back into town.

Today, my life is larger than when “Dooby and Bean” first joined it. Dan and I function in a sea of adventures; trying to deal with the budget, the kids, the dogs, the bills, our new ambitions, and mostly importantly, we do all of this while spending a lot more time together.

If I had to summarize this blog, I would say it is about pregnancy, becoming a parent, the details of motherhood so often not discussed, the pressures of marriage and parenthood that can wreak havoc on a young couple, and how we navigate through it, for better or worse, as a team. If my goal is to do anything here, it is to let someone in a similar situation to any detailed on this site know, “You are not alone.”

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