Tuesday, January 10, 2006

The Pearl Necklace

Dan's brother's girlfriend entered a conversation I was having with two other mothers to explain that breastfeading in public, covered or not, is exactly the same as public masturbation. Unbeknownst to her that this would have any impact on our visiting them in New York after having this baby. In all fairness this girl's approach to pregnancy is shared with my brother in law, Jeff. While the four of us, Jeff, Lauren, Dan and myself were sitting up late in the living room one night, Lauren expressed the grossness of pregnancy that bothered her. Pooping on the table was a big concern. I asked Dan to remember when that was my concern, because it ceratinly is no longer.

This pregnancy already has rendered me so far from humility, embarassment has truly fallen to the wayside. But, to be the bigger person - by some act other than biologically - I opened the baby bible we were reading to the page with the dialated cervix chart on it and handed it to Lauren as if to state, "Once you begin to worry about this, you don't care who shits on your table". Lauren gasped at the 10 cm hole and I was delighted. But then Jeff pipes in and says, "It's not that bad babe, look..." and making a fist he puts his knuckles against the page to show how it's reasonably just large enough to get his fist in. Later Dan wondered if Jeff understood that was the cervix not the vagina, and I came to a great understanding about how this girl keeps getting $2500.00 jewelry for the holidays.

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