Sunday, December 25, 2005

Christmas with the Relatives

A conversation... in two parts

Aunt: So are you two getting ready for the baby

L: Yep, just about.

A: You guys are gonna use WIC right. you got that in order yet?

L: (to be polite pretending to have no idea what WIC is, but really just trying to escape this conversation as soon as possible) Yeah, we figure they'll go over that with is in the birthing classes and the stuff through the hospital.

A: Well you really need to do that, with as little money and you two make.

L: WIC is for women who really need it, we don't want to take advantage of something that we don't need when there are others who could use it.

A: You'll be surprised what you'll need - they'll give you free cheese and cereal for the baby.

L: We're breastfeeding though, so see, we don't even have a need for that right now.

A: Well, you'll try! Breastfeeding doesn't always work out, you might not be able to do it.

L: (Gestureing her E cup breasts) Look at these babies, it's gonna work!

A: Not neccessarily, the size doesn't have anything to do with it. Alot of people have problems.

L: So, Dan, do you want to help me bring some things in from the car?

Conversation two

L: The day I found out I was pregnant we had a full bottle of gin in the fridge and I had just bought three packs of cigarettes.

A: So, did you give all of that up when you got pregnant?

L: I gave the cigarettes away but we're saving the gin.

A: You know, I hear the doctors say it's okay to have a drink or two when you're pregnant.

L: You know, I know it maybe ok, but I want to play it safe. If anything was wrong when she's born I would hate myself for having had that drink.

A: No. If anything was wrong when it's born it's not from the drinking, it's from the birth defect.

L: Still, I'm not that much of a drinker, so I can wait.

A:Well, doctors recommend that it's healthier for you and the baby to have a few drinks when you're pregnant.


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